Year in Review: 2011

2011 has been an interesting year for us:  I've never felt my faith so tested and shaped before... never before have I felt that so much that I've been learning has finally made it to my spiritual DNA...  never before have I ever felt the enemy aggravating me and poking at me...  2011 started out at Christ Community with a declaration: we were breaking through our own curses and issues and breaking out of our church walls to make Kingdom changes.  Heath and I looked at each other during those first few sermons: yeah, this is what we wanted for ourselves and for our child.  But we had (and have) a bit of work to do.  The enemy has been on our heels to keep us bound by the issues and thought processes that have kept us down for so long- the fear, poor self-esteem, lack of resources, etc...  2011 has been a year of fighting- fighting against the American "dream" (more like nightmare), fighting against what others think we should do and think and feel, fighting against ourselves and our past... 

Of course, I am not saying that I've got it all together at this point.  I wish that I could be quicker to get off of a mental hamster-wheel when people hurt me... I wish that when people do hurt me that I could be quicker to allow them back in to my life.  I am working to pray for these people instead of avoiding them-- which is what I want to do... I am also currently 28 weeks pregnant and have had to fight against all kinds of fear due to my past and present- and it's been kind of amazing at how people do not understand or give me the grace that I require to get through these 9 months.  Many times after a church service, I think, can I just set up a tent over there in the corner of the fish bowl and live here for a while so I don't have to take these darts and stings for a bit?  So that's hard-- just honestly, hard when people look at me like I have 3 heads instead of just letting me get in a good space in my head and stay there so I am not wracked with fear for 40 long weeks.  I don't know how many "where's your faith?" comments I got... uhm, apparently we have a different definition of "faith."

I'm not proud of these things... but I know that there are others out there struggling with these kinds of issues... it's just where I'm at... and I'm asking for the grace to get through these next few weeks until baby's due date.  2011 has been a year of introspection- of realizing what I'm ready to work on and let go of- of realizing why I am the way I am- and of being okay with that until I am ready to peel back another layer of my own insecurities and deal with the issues underneath- or until the Lord sees that I'm ready. 

As far as ministry goes, my husband continues to work on his "Heath and the Checker Shoe Band" ministry.  From the puppet team and music to the television show, he's been really busy and I've been amazed at what the Lord has created through him.  This is a note from Heath:  The year is coming to an end and I wish I had a blog right now to write down everything that happened. Here is the short list. Recorded a 10 song cd and made 10 music videos for it, then made 10 episodes of the Checker Shoe Band Show. Then went on to record a 15 song cd of kids standards and 13 music videos for that, and another 2 episodes of season 2 of the checker shoe band show. plus recorded 5 new songs for the Christmas album. not too mention the other 3 songs I have in the can for the next next album. So that is a total of 33 new songs recorded. This has been a breakthrough year for me for sure, the most artistic ever.

so 2011 has been a banner year for us in a lot of different ways.  And I'm not ashamed of standing up for what I need in order to get through this season of my life.  I continue to see that the American culture is so twisted and cruel.  But all I can control is me... and I would love to change some things in me and I pray that the Lord will continue to change those things in me.


What are my plans for 2012?  Well, how about I share my hopes instead?  I hate making resolutions or saying that I AM going to do something, and not be able to follow through with them... so here are my hopes and prayers:
1) I hope that baby boy arrives healthy and that my body has no complications from the c-section... and I pray that Hero receives the change with understanding and happiness.
2) I hope that the Lord continues to grow The Checker Shoe Band ministry however He chooses.
3) I hope to get healthier in my body and start an exercise routine after March.  
4) I hope that our household continues to get healthier: physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially. 


And I hope that 2012 is an amazing year for all of us as we continue to seek the Lord and become more free from the chains of this world.  Words can never express how thankful I am that the Lord brought us to Christ Community in 2001!  Happy 2012!