This week is the start of my fall break at work... 3 blissful weeks of not working! So what do I do? Spring clean like I should have in the spring. But Brick came in the spring so I out of commission.
Today, I tackled under my bed... the more stuff I pulled out, the more memories came. Good memories, sad memories. Lots of movies- and the memories associated with those times. Despite the memories and all the dust stirred up, it was good to clean out and throw some things away.
"Why am I holding on to these things?" I thought several times.
And then I thought about the sermons of the past few weeks at Christ Community...
- a call to come and die to self
- take up our crosses and follow Jesus
- to abandon our will to His and obey
But just like the reasons I had for holding on to all these things that were under my bed, I have reasons for holding on to spiritual things...
- I don't want to be a victim again
- I am scared of the pain
- I feel like I lack the resources to do what He has asked of me
I know that the Lord is saying to me TAKE MY YOKE AND YOU WILL FIND REST (Matthew 11:29).
I know that the Lord is saying to me to LIVE FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONE.
I know that He is saying DO NOT BE AFRAID... THE BATTLE IS MINE.
It seems like every day, I have to go through this pep talk... reminding myself who God IS and who I am in HIM. So I will just keep giving myself this pep talk every day... hopefully, it will become part of my spiritual DNA soon. And while I chide myself for having to go through this same ole talk every single day... for allowing myself to get to this place over and over again... I do celebrate the fact that the Lord is gracious and merciful towards me... even if I wait until the fall to do my spring cleaning.
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