Hubby and I had the privilege to attend a marriage retreat that my church sponsored this past weekend. We did not have pre-marital counseling so much of what we've learned in these first 12 years of marriage has been trial and error or what he learned while attending college in his counseling classes. And what we learned this weekend... well, it just solidified what we've got and smoothed out the edges for some of our rough spots... not that some of the issues have disappeared, but just learning how to better deal with them... I love that he is giving me extra kisses on the cheek and extra hugs... it seems like during this season of our life with our little bitties where time for each other is at a premium, those extra hugs and kisses mean a lot to me.
So I've been thinking about those extra hugs and kisses and how my firstborn boy reacts when he sees us hug or kiss: "EEEEWWW!!!! GROSS!!!! STOP IT!!!!" And he physically tries to get in between us. (we've put a stop to that since coming back from the retreat)
But I realize now that he needs to see us being affectionate towards each other. How is he going to learn about marriage and how to treat his wife if he doesn't see how a godly husband should treat his wife?
The realization that he is growing up is all too real for me. My second-born's first birthday is in just a few days... Life is moving fast... and I am blessed that they are growing normally... but I need to make sure that I am attending to my relationship with my husband because:
1. my boys need to see a healthy, godly marriage in action
2. one day, they won't be living with us anymore... and when they leave, we will be left with each other... he doesn't need to be a stranger to me nor does he need to be resentful towards me for putting the boys before him.
And maybe you will disagree with me on that last point - it should go without saying that with an infant and young sons, their physical and emotional needs have to be attended to... but my marriage has needs that have to be attended to as well.
And maybe you will disagree with me on that last point - it should go without saying that with an infant and young sons, their physical and emotional needs have to be attended to... but my marriage has needs that have to be attended to as well.
It's like my marriage is a garden... before kids, I just had that little spot to attend to... but with kids, it's like my garden has expanded... and I have to hoof it to make sure all the plots are well cared for... I can't neglect my husband just because I have my two kids to care for. I mean, things have definitely changed for us as a married couple, but we've got to be intentional about caring for our marriage. My hubby likes to say "we need to do some preventative maintenance." As a child of divorced parents, I agree.
I am really thankful for Pandora radio: The Trampled by Turtles/Mumford & Sons station that I created is amazing... between the chuck of the mandolins and the rides on the banjos, I have gotten into a groove and pumped out a couple of reports that were standing before me like the Great Wall of China. I still have more to do, but I'm getting through it with the help of the music and God's good grace.... I am super thankful for a wonderfully dry ride on these rainy days we've had lately.... I am thankful for the discovery of the lovely aroma when lavender and peppermint are mixed... these scents were the pervasive scent at the retreat. Renewal smells like lavendar and peppermint. I am thankful for my husband's suggestion to go to the marriage retreat and that he still wants to spend time with me after these 12 years.
I hope that we all find a time of renewal and refreshment in this busy season.
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