"it begins and ends with You, Jesus" -or- 2015 forecast

I like how my husband prays for a vision for the year ahead to guide us in his ministry.

And I like how the vision-casting from the years before compound into the next year:
2012 was the Year of Fruits of the Spirit-
God showed us that He is the Gardener and that He is responsible for growing the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives- 
how freeing is THAT?  I've always thought that I HAD TO GROW THE FRUIT.  Nope.  Fruit of the SPIRIT.  HIS SPIRIT.  not me.  nothing on me.  
free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, i'm free at last....

2013 was the Year of Fishes and Loaves-
God taught us to offer Him what was in our hands- to live open-handed- and that He would do the rest.  And, wow, what He did with the little we had!  I still wonder how somethings got accomplished!

2014 was the Year of Faith like a Child- 
for all the tribulations we encountered, the Lord was faithful to be there like the Daddy that He is to me and provide whatever we needed.  The gifts and blessings we received at Christmas this year not only echoed the Fishes and Loaves theme of 2013, but re-iterated the "Come to Me like a child" theme.  
Some highlights of 2014:
-Hank was born in February HEALTHY!  (we went through a TON of tests and monitoring with concerns that he had heart problems- BUT HE DOESN'T!)
-Brick turned 2 in March
-Hero started First Grade and has lost a TON of teeth!
-I discovered doTERRA essential oils
-I was assigned to new locations at work.
-Christ Community Church launched the Phenix City campus in September- which has been amazing to be a part of
-Joseph's Journey 2014:  wow.  Being a part of that production was so amazing- God taught me so much through that production--
      --whatever you do for the Lord in secret may not bear fruit for many many years- but when it's time, it's AH-mazing!
      --the cast and crew SURROUNDED my family with prayer when my participation was threatened due to my boys getting sick.... serious prayers were lifted on our behalf...  that was humbling and blessed me.... and they recovered within HOURS.
      --I realized that Christmas is about CELEBRATING CHRIST- not about the TRADITIONS that we can't get to- I got really sick with a skin issue called reactive erythema- very painful and gross and I just couldn't get everything done that I wanted to get done.  I mean, I cried every time after I changed Hank and Brick because my hands and arms were so damaged.  I was sad that I couldn't get to some traditions until the Lord revealed THIS to me.  
-Christmas this year was probably the best ever- the gift I gave myself was NO STRESS- so we had a laid-back Christmas day and the boys seemed to enjoy every single minute of it.

so looking forward to the New Year....
2015 is the Year of Harvest-
I'm not really sure what "Harvest" means- I mean, I know what I've heard preached on the topic, but I'm not sure what it means for us here at Big Heater Media and for the Williamsons.  But I'm sure that it means work for us.  HARD work.  Thankful we are no strangers to HARD work.  And maybe not physical work, but spiritual work...  I haven't really put this to prayer- we've just gotten the word: "HARVEST."  I hope it means that we get to see God's hand in these offerings that we've made.  But I trust that whatever is happening on the other side of that veil, He has control of.  

And I KNOW that I've made TOO MANY MISTAKES to count in 2014.  I KNOW.  So we'll just have to leave some things in 2014.  And other things, I'll keep working on.
LETTING GO of stress is one thing.
ADVOCATING for my kids and husband (my marriage) is another.
ENJOYING life more- even if I don't have a ton of money to go to the beach or whatever- BLOOM WHERE I'M PLANTED kind of thing.
I will strive for WHOLENESS in HIM...

So here's to ALL that the LORD brought us through in 2014...
And here's to ALL that the LORD has in store for us in 2015...
May 2015 find us faithful to the calling bestowed to us and may Mercy and Grace follow us where the Lord leads us.

Celebration vs. Tradition

So before you want to string me up for the title of this blog, just give me a minute to explain.

This has been a tough year-  not as tough as some have had to endure- but definately a banner year for us.  And honestly, ALL of  the changes have been GOOD for us... but there's been  A LOT OF CHANGE.  Which throws me anyway.  But GOOD CHANGE!

So August hits.  And several major changes hit.  And with those changes, an illness ignited in me that I never knew existed.  I felt like I was in The Happening- like the environment was attacking me.  After several rounds of prednisone and a referral to a dermatologist, I received a diagnosis of reactive erythema.  I know it could be worse.  HOWEVER- it is painful and it GETS IN THE WAY OF ME  LIVING LIFE!  And the TREATEMENT is TERRIBLE TOO!  p.s. I don't think that the changes triggered this illness... just an unfortunate coincidence. So I am still wading through triggers and trying to figure out what a good treatment plan would be outside of steriods- like vitamin E, etc.

So because of this illness, I can't do everything I want to do. The boys have gotten sick this month too... so sometimes, you just have to shut things down- circle the wagons- take care of the chickens until all are well.

I've felt bad about some of the things I can't do for my sons for Christmas this year.  Some of our traditions just aren't going to happen- for several different reasons... And I was lamenting that as well as trying to make sure that I used this opportunity to teach my sons about Christ.

Then this hits me during a church service one December Sunday.

It's NOT about TRADITION

It's about CELEBRATION

Whatever I can't get done or I can get done, 

the focus should be CELEBRATING CHRIST'S BIRTH.

A lot tries to steal my focus this time of year- 

so I'm focusing on HIS BIRTHDAY 

and LOOKING for the STAR that was over the manger when He was born...

the STAR that will lead me to the PRINCE OF PEACE.... 

Luke 2: 7-14

Matthew 2:9

may His LOVE and LIGHT envelope you-

drive out the darkness attacking you-

remind you why HE came as a CHILD

wounded

The Lord is always communicating with us...

bad christian

I am full aware of how my humanity does not reflect my belief system sometimes.  I do not write this for any kind of self-deprecation nor am I fishing for compliments, but more of an apology and acknowlagement.  And maybe some encouragement for others.

When Heath first felt the call to ordination, my first thoughts (of course) were, "how am I supppsed to be a pastor's wife?"  Through that process he was called to evangelism and to this ministry he has now through Heath and the Checker Shoe Band Show.  Also through this process, the Lord's helped me understand what Grace really is and how this dichotomy of being a Christian and a human can exist in one space.  And what being a child of God really means.

So this is what I have come to understand:

1- I am so thankful that the shed blood of Jesus Christ atones for my sins.

2-If I weren't a bad Christian, I would be a terrible human being.  Seriously, my Christianity keeps me from doing what my flesh wants to do.

3- my job is to be a sign post pointing others to Him.  And I'd hate to know that something I said or did keeps someone from running to Him.  And if that's the case, I hope that His Love is so overwhelming that what I've said or done doesn't matter.

So there's a balance to all this.  I'm not doing a great job.  I hope to get better.

But this is my conclusion:  "I may not be a great Christian.... but I serve a great God."

To my sons when they are 18

Dear sons,

At this point, you three are almost 7, 2 and 5 months old.  Our time together is going by fast and I do everything I can do to store up these memories of your childhood.  

I keep thinking of the days when you will transition into manhood.  And I want to make that transition as easy as possible for you.  This isn't typically an easy time.  Moms freak out; dads sull up.

And I've been trying to understand why.  Why is this so hard to let go?  This is supposed to happen.  
I've been praying and thinking and I think I know why this happens:
the world is so scary and there will come a point where I can't defend you anymore.
And what am I supposed to do with that?   I mean the very idea of some girl breaking your heart or some guy trying to bully you just makes me see red.  It makes me want to fight.

But I won't be able to.
And that makes me mad.

As you walk into the school building to first grade to a new teacher... as you run away from me at the zoo... as you crawl and reach for things that will hurt you...

So what am I to do?
What can I do?
Well, I can't stop this process from happening. I can't keep you little.

But I can...

I can teach you to fight for yourself.

I can introduce you to the One who heals all your hurts.

I can pray for you.

I can trust that God will honor my dedicating you at the altar when you were a baby.

The truth is people will make comments about your growing up so fast but that will make you feel guilty for doing so.  But it's really a lament that as you get older, it's more difficult to protect you.  And that makes us sad.  And mad.  And scared.

But now I am not so mad or sad or scared because if we have Jesus on our side, then everything's gonna be alright.  I have to trust that He has His angels protecting you and that the shed blood of Jesus intervenes on your behalf.  I have to trust that God is already in tomorrow ahead of you three.

So I am preparing myself for the day you grow up and move out.  I know I will cry and you will just have to give me that.  Change is hard for me.  You each are so precious to me and I thank God for the privilege to be your mommy.  I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future.

Love,

Mommy

(Buffy)

windows

A person's behavior is a window to the state of his soul.

This is true for chidlren, adults, male and female.  

I used to think that a person's negative behavior towards me had something to do with me not being worthy enough to be treated well.

But this is not true...

This outward negative expression is a symptom of inner turmoil.

The same is true for someone who is at peace...  His actions and words towards his fellow man is full of manna...

I am fully aware that this is an area of my life that has caution tape wrapped around it.  This is an area that I am really working on: not responding negatively when I get hurt...  Not taking my anger out on someone else... Not feeling worthless when others lash out at me... Life has been super challenging lately and I haven't been great at responding to the stress...

But I am encouraged by the fact that the Lord is strong in my weakness and loving towards discipling me.  And patient.  And kind.  And that He loves me anyway.

creative God

Being a mom is about taking every pre-conceived idea and just tossing it out the window…

Everything you THINK WILL happen- WON’T.

Everything you THINK SHOULD happen- WON’T.

Everything you WANT to happen- WON’T… at least, not the WAY you want it to.

You see, I am learning that when we put ourselves in God’s hands, He gets a kick out of the new material that He gets to mold… so He stretches and pulls and swishes us across the canvas of life until we are perfect for His Kingdom. 

In the same way, we have to become more creative in our approach to life… 

I think that God places situations in our way to force our creative edge…

“Oh, here’s your window busted out… what are you going to do to get it fixed?”  “Oh, there’s a food stain on your shirt that your 3 year old put there and your boss and his wife are at your door for dinner.”  “Oh, there’s Ms. McNasty again to try your nerves, how are you going to show her My love.”  “Oh your 6 year old is back talking for the millionth time today… how are you going to change your approach to him?”  FILL IN THE BLANK

   This is my revelation for today…

That God places circumstances in our way to force our creative edge… 

That's not to say that this is a way to keep from relying on Him... I mean, what's more amazing than to see His creative solutions to our problems... truly, when a circumstance hits, I've lost control.  If I were in control, that wouldn't have happened in the first place!  

But if we stop and don't respond out of a place of our own flesh, we see that the King of Glory has truly given us resources and insights and has better way to do things. Inspired by God, maybe?  Definitely, a creative God who longs for us to see Him as the Artist that He is. 

Which leads me to another point that I think we need more Christian art... The art world used to be driven by religious-themed art, but now the art world has been over-taken by the enemy.  So support Christian artists especially when they go into the world.  It takes a lot of guts and we need more quality Christ-themed art: music, television shows, movies, paintings, sculptures, writings...  I, for one, long for more.  And I long for my children to have more options when it comes to art forms.  

Maybe this makes sense... maybe it doesn't... I've just seen God's creativity come out in the solutions to my circumstances lately... which has changed my response to circumstances....for the better, I hope.