"so we meet again" -or- inside out

The biggest challenge of being a mom is keeping my feelings bottled up because there's so much to do in this season of my life... I've started and stopped writing this a few times to pull Mr. 2 year old off the counter.

If you know me, you know Mother's Day is a mixture of celebration and grieving. 

but Grief is a trickster. She comes out of no where and at such unexpected times. There are some of life's circumstances that cause pain but not much damage.

Then there are events that not only destroy the trajectory of your life but damage the very fabric of who you are. 

I can't explain why I even think about it- I can't help it coming to mind. I'd really rather I just never think about it again. But there it is- two tragic events staining a hallmark holiday. And as I think of my own pain, I remember others: single moms, moms who gave their children to others through adoption, the empty nester, the mom whose baby is in Heaven, the woman who could not conceive, the woman who has a broken relationship with her child... 

Being a Mom is mostly about the struggle- wrestling with my own insecurities and faults and failures. 

This isn't easy: celebrating and grieving at the same time- but it's do-able. And it's okay.

You know you are alive because you feel-- I don't know who coined that but I keep thinking this.

Also, the word ABIDE keeps coming to mind... just staying close to Jesus and praying He takes these struggles and is able to spin a story of His grace and love and of hope and redemption. In all the areas of my life.

So, I celebrate with those who celebrate and I see you who mourn with me this Sunday. 

We got this because He's got this.