here’s life: I went to a new track tonight to walk. Hank was with us - I told Heath to go ahead of us so he could get a good walk in - I figured Hank and I could enjoy exploring a new spot. Heath soon became a distant figure ahead. Hank started to become slower so I picked up Hank and carried him for as long as I could carry him. My pace became not much more than a crawl. But I dug my heels in and carried his little 40 pound self up a hill and around a curve.
I passed a lady. She was a hard working woman. Her workout clothes were old and worn out. And she was working hard to put some past behind her. We saw each other from afar. As we passed, she offered me a nod and a slight smile as if to say I remember those days...
Hank and I plodded along.
We soon passed a pair of ladies- carefully manicured and pedicured, expensive jewelry, hair and make up carefully in place... I offered a weak smile- they seemed appalled to see me carrying my kid... at my labored pace... at my deliberate breathing... but they don’t know my story... and I could read theirs in the 3 seconds that we shared air space... they were too afraid of losing everything to enjoy the way the light spilled over the pine trees and the smell of freshly cut grass...
too scared of the struggle... to know the glory...
After that I alternated carrying Hank and having him walk beside me... which he did... without running away...
I thought about the two encounters and how that’s just how life is... everyone is so worried about being left behind - left out - fall short - but this. this is MY story. This role is the one the Lord wrote with ME for the part. So yes I’m gonna struggle up the hill carrying my 5 year old in my arms while others sprint around me... because this is MY path right now.
And I’m gonna remember the faces I pass that offer me a sign of solidarity and encouragement. And I’m gonna pity the women who snide at me because they will never know the glory of accomplishing something after being told “you can’t. you won’t.”
My whole life has been about proving the world wrong. And I’m not gonna stop now.
Heath got to the jeep and doubled back to pick us up. Look for those people too. The people who will double back and pick you up.
No, I can’t move fast right now. I have a little fella who stops and plays with his shadow and analyzes the sunlight streaming through the trees at sunset... and oh how beautiful it was to stop and appreciate God’s creation... and I’m gonna carry him as far as he needs me to... I have people who give me invisable high fives... and Heath will always double back for me. That’s the important stuff that life is made out of.
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