the answer lies in the woman at the well

I had the privilege of having a small high school reunion in Birmingham with my best friends from high school.  We have been through hell-fire these last 20 years (and while we were in high school) and found so much grace and hope and love still after all this time. It was a beautiful reunion.

We had so much to catch up on, but the national events were heavy on our minds. So much to the point where we would comment how kind people were being to each other and to us, taking our picture to commemorate the occasion.

So Sunday morning, we were eating breakfast at the hotel. The lady serving us seemed a bit weary so we went out of our way to say "thank you!" and make jokes with her. After a plate of eggs and sausage, I wanted something sweet, so I went over to the cereal. I could not find a dish nor could the lady standing next to me- she was older than me, my grandmother's age; a  black lady smartly dressed and with a cane. She spoke to me: "do you have any idea where the plates are?"

I said, "I am lookin' for the same thing."

Another person nearby directed us back across the expanse of the dining area.

Before I could offer, this lady said, "get me a plate, would ya?"

I said, "Of course! Do you want a plate or a bowl?"

"no matter!" she declared.

And off I went. I was smiling to myself. Heath's grandmother passed earlier this year. And my grandmother lives 6 hours from me. I found myself thoroughly enjoying being bossed around a grandmother-figure.
I returned with a bowl and she said, "Thank you so much! Thank you so much for your kindness!"
and I thought- that was no kindness really- I was right there- it'd been stupid of me not to get a dish for her as well. But the encounter did give me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

On the way home, I was praying about these national events: the massacre at the gay club in Orlando, the shooting death of two black men by police officers and the killing of 5 police officers in Dallas.

It's so awful how we are all at each other throats and dividing our lives down different lines. And I'm wondering what my part in all of this is.... and I remember the recent sermons about the Woman at the Well....

John 4: 1-9 New International Version (NIV) (bible gateway)

Now Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John— although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. So he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee.

Now he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

Right there- see what Jesus did right there? He called out her worth. He said, "hey, can I have a drink of water?" And she said, "uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh, whaaaaaaa? Dude, I'm a Samaritan and you are a Jew- why are you even talking to me?" She could have said, "Uhm, I'm Black and you are White- why are you talking to me?" In my case a black lady asked me for a plate and I could have said, "But don't all the Black people hate all the White people right now?" (for the record, I don't believe that- just making a point here). This elderly black lady recognized my worth in that moment. 

Jesus took a chance and interacted with this woman and showed her her worth. Further in the passage, her life is changed by His crossing that cultural boundary and simply speaking to her.

Do we have chance encounters like this? Are there moments where we can be intentional in our day to day encounters? We will have to look for these opportunities. I think it's a practical first step. The second step? I'm not sure what that is... but I'm looking!

USS Alabama

during our vacation, we spent a day at Orange Beach and drove through Mobile on the way to Hattiesburg. We were able to catch a glimpse of the USS Alabama... Heath shared the story that his grandfather was rescued by the USS Alabama from the war in the Pacific (WW2 if I remember correctly). He was one of 3 in his unit who survived. And we marvelled at the fact that none of us would be together (much less exist with Heath and the boys) if it had not been for the crew on that ship and whatever it took to get his grandfather on to that ship. I love how the Lord has our lives in His hands to such an extent that He goes way before and way behind us. And if He holds these major life events in our hands, then He holds the seemingly mundane. May we find ourselves aware of His hand in the ordinary moments of our lives as well as the extraordinary.

i figured it out

I finally figured out why it's so painful to watch kids grows up:

we remember the confusion and fear at unknown experiences.

we remember all the unrealistic expectations. 

we remember not knowing which way to go.

we remember feeling ugly and awkward and sweaty.

And I so wish I could save you from all that.

But I can't. I can help you find Jesus. and I can show you Love. And the rest? God's already built into your DNA.

orlando: two conversations in one post

I am really nervous to put this out into the universe. I am gonna sound really ignorant and probably hypcritical- but that's a risk I am going to take... 

for my sons' sake...

because there are some dialogues I need to be ready for as I send them out into the world.

When I was a kid, I felt sheilded from the news... I knew the Cold War was happening but I never knew all the other stuff... because we did not have the internet. Now I have to be really careful what my boys see and hear... we get all the news and all the details all the time.

When the Brock Turner news was hittin', it was easy to say what was wrong in that situation.

And when the news hit about the massacre in Orlando, it was easy for me to say what was wrong in this situation. (in case you are confused-all of it-all of it is wrong) 

Even when you found out it was a hate crime against people who are gay, Buffy? aren't you a Christian, Buffy? 

Yes- it's all wrong. Murder is wrong. 

So at this point of the dialogue in my head, it splits into a conversation with the world and a conversation with my community of Christian believers (I mean like my own personal church and my personal friends)-and it goes like this:

Church family, did you know there's this whole other disinfranchized group- there's a lot of different names for this group and I don't even know the one they prefer: Gay? Lesbian? LGBT? I feel so stupid. I had no idea. They are scared. And they have families who are hurting. And this group has some pretty big Church wounds and Lord, I hope I never inflicted. [I think we as Christians have two immediate action steps: apply the "don't"s of the Bible to ourselves and apply the "do"s of the Bible to the world-We've got enough issues to fill one hundred years of Sundays instead of wasting time pointing fingers (p.s. it's not working)].

To the world, I had no idea that those of you who are a part of the LGBT community hurt so bad. And I understand if you don't accept my apology- and I understand if you don't care that I have sat on my couch and cried over the news out of Orlando. It's horrific. I honestly don't have adjectives to describe this. 

To my sons: I will never condone your hurting another person- physically or other wise. Ever. Even when you disagree with him/her.

To those of you reading: either you think I am spot on or a complete fool. I get that. But I've got to work this out for myself. Like my religion 201 professor stated at the start of our course: "this is not the time or place to talk about who's right and who is wrong..." at this moment I don't want to talk about whose theology is right and who's wrong... people are hurting- we as Christians should respond in love.

abide -

I'm not gonna lie.

I have been stretched and pulled and challenged more these past 10 months in ways that I have never been stretched and pulled and challenged before.

Being a working mom has its special set of challenges.
And I won't get into a mommy war over the comments I make here.
Being a parent- mom or dad- an involved parent- takes time and energy- whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom... and each situation has a different set of challenges. I won't begin to guess at the challenges of staying at home day in and out because I am in a unique position of doing both: I work at the school district so I do get summer off. And I love it all.

If anything, I am battle worn- which happens a lot since I am an introvert and really get my energy from having alone time. And I am in some new territory.

I am going from a household of young children and infants to school-aged children and a toddler.

I am realizing that what's mistaken for the wish to keep my children young is really fear of the unknown. Fear that they are out of my reach. Fear that I can't control what people say to them. Fear that they will make the wrong choices.

I worry a lot about a lot of things. My prayers are pretty much my worries.
And the Lord is gracious to hear my prayers.

Recently, the word "abide" came to me several times in a day- from Facebook memes to conversations- this verse specifically-  John 15:5 Jesus says, "I am the vine, you are the branches- he who abides in me and I in him, bears much fruit- for apart from Me, you can do nothing" (NASB)

The word ABIDE struck me. So I looked up the definition: to stay or continue; to remain."

This brought to mind another verse: Psalm 46:5 "God is within her- she will not fail."

Strong words. A strong promise.

I just watched the Rogue One trailer again because I am such a Star Wars nerd... and a clip at the end struck me.... "if you continue to fight, what will you become?"
That could be taken a lot of ways - if you keep fighting, will you be come hard? Will you become what you are fighting?
Or will I become what I'm meant to be?
I'm staring at the blinking cursor waiting for an answer- I know that what I'm meant to be is in God's hands- and all I have is this moment- this moment of decision-

Will I keep fighting the Good Fight? Am I afraid of what people will think of me? Of what the fight will cost me?

Maybe.

But what will I miss out on if I don't fight?
again, you stupid blinking cursor, waiting for me to answer... I. don't. know.

But He does.
And I can rest in that.
I can rest in knowing I dedicated my sons to Him in a ceremony at the church when they were each three months old.

We. are. His.

Abide.

mother's day prayer

these children don't know it's Mother's Day and they're actin' up! lol! oh well- 

the fall of us all is the picture in our head of how things are SUPPOSED to be! 

so: here's to the messes, the detours, the sleepless nights, the lost figure, the achy backs, the defiance, the losses, the gains, the smiles, the laughter and the kisses-  

Lord, give me the stength to be Momma to this frat club You gave me- Let me be worthy of this call- Go before me and stay behind me to clean up the mess I make with them- Protect them when I'm not with them- Let them know You as they grow. Amen.

"so we meet again" -or- inside out

The biggest challenge of being a mom is keeping my feelings bottled up because there's so much to do in this season of my life... I've started and stopped writing this a few times to pull Mr. 2 year old off the counter.

If you know me, you know Mother's Day is a mixture of celebration and grieving. 

but Grief is a trickster. She comes out of no where and at such unexpected times. There are some of life's circumstances that cause pain but not much damage.

Then there are events that not only destroy the trajectory of your life but damage the very fabric of who you are. 

I can't explain why I even think about it- I can't help it coming to mind. I'd really rather I just never think about it again. But there it is- two tragic events staining a hallmark holiday. And as I think of my own pain, I remember others: single moms, moms who gave their children to others through adoption, the empty nester, the mom whose baby is in Heaven, the woman who could not conceive, the woman who has a broken relationship with her child... 

Being a Mom is mostly about the struggle- wrestling with my own insecurities and faults and failures. 

This isn't easy: celebrating and grieving at the same time- but it's do-able. And it's okay.

You know you are alive because you feel-- I don't know who coined that but I keep thinking this.

Also, the word ABIDE keeps coming to mind... just staying close to Jesus and praying He takes these struggles and is able to spin a story of His grace and love and of hope and redemption. In all the areas of my life.

So, I celebrate with those who celebrate and I see you who mourn with me this Sunday. 

We got this because He's got this.