Over-stimulated

"Over-stimulated" is a term that it used a lot in the rehab world... "that kid just got over-stimulated by the loud music coming from the gym today."  It's a term used a lot in reference to children with autism or sensory integration disorder to help explain behaviors....

but, I use it for myself... Because I am easily over-stimulated.  I don't know why I'm like this but I am.  Looking at my Myers-Briggs Personality Profile, I am an "ISTJ": "introverted," "sensing," "thinking," and "judging" (and not judging in the way "judging" might be used).  "Introverted" has always surprised others but I do get a deep sense of satisfaction spending time by myself.  Thank God I married a man who is the same way.  It's nothing personal.  We joked for a long time that we were misanthropes.  But really, we just need a chance to unwind. 

Life, by nature, expects us to be 100 things to 100 different people.  It's a great deal of pressure at my job, serving as many kids as I'm serving, with people expecting me to "fix" the problem.  Then I come home and I put on my mommy hat and my wife hat.  When the kid goes to bed, my husband and I often find a place where we can sit and be alone with ourselves.  I don't know if that comes from the fact that we were "so" single before we got married.  But it's us.  And we are fine with that. 

So the past 10 weeks of my life have been this roller coaster.  Really great things are happening... and really tough emotions to filter through... I am over-stimulated.  Starting tomorrow, I am off work for three weeks.  And I am going to take every minute of it to decompress and retreat.  And I won't apologize for it because the Lord called us to rest... I mean, He set up a whole day for it out of the week... and I don't always take a day out of the week to rest.  And I won't let the American culture make me feel guilty for resting.  So, yes, I hope to be off the grid for a bit.  No, it's nothing personal.  I'm going to rest.