Say yes or turning 37

i saw this on pintrest last night.  this is such an important point to be made.  

today is my 37th birthday.  from age 30 til last year, i'd joke about being 28 again.  but this year, i realize that little joke would discount the past 7 years of my life and i wouldn't want to do that- i have a really unique life and it suits me well.  it's unconventional by most standards but i have always wanted to take the road less travelled.

but back to this quote: by the very nature of being God's creation, we are special. and my mom used to tell me if God wants you to clean the toilets at the church, you do the very best you can and do it for Him.  

but sometimes before we can get to a place of understanding how special we are to Him, we have to get over ourselves a bit and just say "yes."

when heath came to me about the vision he had for this television show, i panicked.  where were we going to get the money for this? it was just too big for me to fathom. i didn't know where to start. but we said "yes" anyway and just had to let God do His thing.

for all of us struggling with not being good enough, or skinny enough, or pretty enough, or popular enough or our past is too spotty... God just wants you to say "yes."

The lies about me

Recently, I was publicly humiated in a mass email by a co-worker.  The email stated that I said something that I clearly never would have said and made an implication about my work ethic.

And it made me so mad.  Like Mr. Furious mad- "I am a ticking time bomb of fury."

It made me mad for days.  Then another co-worker decided to share a tidbit of some thing else another  co-worker said about me.  At that point, I just had to stop and laugh.  I had wasted a lot of time being angry about the lies told about me...  And I was finding that the people whose opinion I valued did not believe those lies...  Which was awesome.  Because these people that I valued reflected what God was saying about me the whole time.  The truth of who I am in His eyes- well, I was able to jump over that obstacle and keep moving because He knows I am doing the best I can right now.  And His grace extends to others and fills in the gaps.

I don't claim to be a great Christian...

Only that I serve a great God.

"Nevah, nevah, nevah give up!"

On the subject of being called of the Lord and meeting with human rejection-

rejection is one of those life events that can make or break you.  when tenacity is the product of rejection, you'll be faced with a choice: self-sufficiency or God-trusting.  the hard choice is God-trusting because that path does not offer instant gratification.  if we wait, we will see a side of God that few see.  people will ridicule your choice to wait to follow a path that's never been cut before.  ignore them- turn your eyes upon Jesus--  

but honestly what better gratification do we have if we are able to wait in His presence for His will to be done by His own hand?  

the result is not only intimacy with Him but that we get to witness His Glory.  being awe-struck by His Mighty Hand drives us to our knees in worship... and we are caught in His perfect circle of love, grace and glory... and then we are blissfully unaware of the nay-sayers and the critics because once we have Jesus, we find all that we ever need.

monday musings: church wounds, Rick Grimes, shieldmaidens, 50 shades, oh my!

last night's The Walking Dead.
during The Talking Dead aftershow.
Hardwick asks, "what did you think of Rick's 'We are the Walking Dead' speech?"
oo - oo - me - me!  pick me!  I have an answer!

Rick just said what I had suspected all along.
We are the walking dead.

.... yesterday, I didn't take the littles to church because of snotty noses.... follow me down this rabbit hole for a bit...
I read a post by Jenn Hatmaker encouraging us to try church even though we are church wounded... It was such a lovely missive- full of everthing I have ever wanted to say.

And Hatmaker + TWD= we need to take a moment to recognize that we are the walking dead: whether we are full of sin and we are the walking dead in that respect...

Or we have "died to ourselves" and so we are the walking dead...

Either way we need Jesus.

And that need should be the great equalizer.

O Christian, stop hiding out in your Christian ghetto, shaking your head about how bad the world has gotten.  We have to get out and fight.  We have to hold the barn doors closed when the enemy tries to hit us with a one- two punch.  The tornadoes and the shady guys tempting with bottles of water when we haven't had any for days and the demons of hell themselves will come after us.  We can't just sit here and close our eyes and hope it all goes away... We have kids and loves ones in the enemy's crosshairs.

This whole "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie stuff has struck a deep cord with me- I havent seen the movie and I haven't read the book.  But what I have read on line sends me into another realm because I have seen the effects of unhealthy relationships and I just don't want y'all to get stuck in that fear of being alone driving us to compromise ourselves.  So I was lamenting this to Heath and talking to him about what can we do to start prepping our boys for the adolescence of their lives.  Heath said to me, "you obviously feel very passionate about this- what do you think the Lord is calling you to do about this?  Maybe He wants you DO something instead of just feeling all this.  If this makes you mad, maybe you need to DO something."  I don't know WHAT I am gonna DO about it just yet (True Love Waits revival, anyone?)... But Heath makes a good point: don't whine about it- do something about it.  I mean, I guess standing at the door with a shield like Lagetha is not what he had in mind?

Okay, see? There- spaghetti brain- taking me down all kinds of rabbit holes.

So anyway- here's what I hope you get out of this:

1) we are ALL the walking dead- either we are dead IN sin or we are dead TO ourselves - either way - we can't get too uppity about where we are in life- WE ALL NEED JESUS.

2) if you are a Christian, realize you are in a fight- and I don't mean to tell every gay person you met that he is going to hell-  You didn't accept Jesus because someone was rude to you so be nice-- but the idea of a fight hurts some of our Southern Belle hearts because we were raised not to engage in conflict.  Well any good solider knows- if you don't go to the fight, the fight's comin' to you- last night Rick and the gang kept walking away from that hoarde but they just kept comin' for 'em.

3) I think prayer and worship along with fasting is a great place to start to DO something.  No idea what to do? Consult the Word. 

We do have an advantage to The Walking Dead gang- our Jesus already won this war.  We already know the outcome.  But don't let that lull you into the deception that the enemy got that memo- he's so stupid, he still thinks he has a chance- so he is still comin' at us with everything he's got.

Put on the armor of God, beloved warriors.

Get connected to a healthy church.

Pray. Fast. Worship. 

God's got this.  

And He loves us even though we are The Walking Dead.

5 reasons I love being a mom

My hubby and I waited for 7 years before we had our first child.  We waited for a variety of reasons.  And we had a serious challenge before having our first, but I am so thankful that the Lord allowed me to have children.

Being a parent is hard, but here's 5 reasons why I love being a mom-

Seriously, the holidays were lame before I had kids...

It's really weird to see some idiosyncrasy come out in one of my kids... but it's nice to know that I can't help it either. 

now, let me explain.  Kids complicate life in a number of ways, but by complicating life, they make me stop and prioritize what's important... so I have to get simple.

becoming a mommy has helped me understand God's unconditional love for me.... what grace really is. 

this is probably the best revelation I've had lately: I don't need apologetics to share Christ (and look, I misspelled "apologetics" on my picture there).  Apologetics is the defending of our Christian faith.  There are books and books written on the subject.  It's complicated.  And scares me.  But with children, all I have to do is very simply share: Jesus loves you.  I came about this revelation when my 2 year old had an inconsolable moment one Sunday morning and I sat with him in his classroom for the service.  The teacher, a godly woman I know only as Mrs. Dunlap and/or Kaci's mom, told the children several times throughout the service: "Jesus loves you... Jesus love you..." over and over again-- looking into each one's face-- with her hand on their little shoulder..."Jesus loves you".

It was a moment that I needed to hear that as well and I let it wash over me.  Many times since, I've panicked over my husband's children's ministry and my postpartum behavior- worried about getting sound theology into my children and the ministry while just not being able to pull it all together.  But Mrs. Dunlap's words ring true: "Jesus loves you."  With kids, it's as simple as that.

"it begins and ends with You, Jesus" -or- 2015 forecast

I like how my husband prays for a vision for the year ahead to guide us in his ministry.

And I like how the vision-casting from the years before compound into the next year:
2012 was the Year of Fruits of the Spirit-
God showed us that He is the Gardener and that He is responsible for growing the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives- 
how freeing is THAT?  I've always thought that I HAD TO GROW THE FRUIT.  Nope.  Fruit of the SPIRIT.  HIS SPIRIT.  not me.  nothing on me.  
free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, i'm free at last....

2013 was the Year of Fishes and Loaves-
God taught us to offer Him what was in our hands- to live open-handed- and that He would do the rest.  And, wow, what He did with the little we had!  I still wonder how somethings got accomplished!

2014 was the Year of Faith like a Child- 
for all the tribulations we encountered, the Lord was faithful to be there like the Daddy that He is to me and provide whatever we needed.  The gifts and blessings we received at Christmas this year not only echoed the Fishes and Loaves theme of 2013, but re-iterated the "Come to Me like a child" theme.  
Some highlights of 2014:
-Hank was born in February HEALTHY!  (we went through a TON of tests and monitoring with concerns that he had heart problems- BUT HE DOESN'T!)
-Brick turned 2 in March
-Hero started First Grade and has lost a TON of teeth!
-I discovered doTERRA essential oils
-I was assigned to new locations at work.
-Christ Community Church launched the Phenix City campus in September- which has been amazing to be a part of
-Joseph's Journey 2014:  wow.  Being a part of that production was so amazing- God taught me so much through that production--
      --whatever you do for the Lord in secret may not bear fruit for many many years- but when it's time, it's AH-mazing!
      --the cast and crew SURROUNDED my family with prayer when my participation was threatened due to my boys getting sick.... serious prayers were lifted on our behalf...  that was humbling and blessed me.... and they recovered within HOURS.
      --I realized that Christmas is about CELEBRATING CHRIST- not about the TRADITIONS that we can't get to- I got really sick with a skin issue called reactive erythema- very painful and gross and I just couldn't get everything done that I wanted to get done.  I mean, I cried every time after I changed Hank and Brick because my hands and arms were so damaged.  I was sad that I couldn't get to some traditions until the Lord revealed THIS to me.  
-Christmas this year was probably the best ever- the gift I gave myself was NO STRESS- so we had a laid-back Christmas day and the boys seemed to enjoy every single minute of it.

so looking forward to the New Year....
2015 is the Year of Harvest-
I'm not really sure what "Harvest" means- I mean, I know what I've heard preached on the topic, but I'm not sure what it means for us here at Big Heater Media and for the Williamsons.  But I'm sure that it means work for us.  HARD work.  Thankful we are no strangers to HARD work.  And maybe not physical work, but spiritual work...  I haven't really put this to prayer- we've just gotten the word: "HARVEST."  I hope it means that we get to see God's hand in these offerings that we've made.  But I trust that whatever is happening on the other side of that veil, He has control of.  

And I KNOW that I've made TOO MANY MISTAKES to count in 2014.  I KNOW.  So we'll just have to leave some things in 2014.  And other things, I'll keep working on.
LETTING GO of stress is one thing.
ADVOCATING for my kids and husband (my marriage) is another.
ENJOYING life more- even if I don't have a ton of money to go to the beach or whatever- BLOOM WHERE I'M PLANTED kind of thing.
I will strive for WHOLENESS in HIM...

So here's to ALL that the LORD brought us through in 2014...
And here's to ALL that the LORD has in store for us in 2015...
May 2015 find us faithful to the calling bestowed to us and may Mercy and Grace follow us where the Lord leads us.

Celebration vs. Tradition

So before you want to string me up for the title of this blog, just give me a minute to explain.

This has been a tough year-  not as tough as some have had to endure- but definately a banner year for us.  And honestly, ALL of  the changes have been GOOD for us... but there's been  A LOT OF CHANGE.  Which throws me anyway.  But GOOD CHANGE!

So August hits.  And several major changes hit.  And with those changes, an illness ignited in me that I never knew existed.  I felt like I was in The Happening- like the environment was attacking me.  After several rounds of prednisone and a referral to a dermatologist, I received a diagnosis of reactive erythema.  I know it could be worse.  HOWEVER- it is painful and it GETS IN THE WAY OF ME  LIVING LIFE!  And the TREATEMENT is TERRIBLE TOO!  p.s. I don't think that the changes triggered this illness... just an unfortunate coincidence. So I am still wading through triggers and trying to figure out what a good treatment plan would be outside of steriods- like vitamin E, etc.

So because of this illness, I can't do everything I want to do. The boys have gotten sick this month too... so sometimes, you just have to shut things down- circle the wagons- take care of the chickens until all are well.

I've felt bad about some of the things I can't do for my sons for Christmas this year.  Some of our traditions just aren't going to happen- for several different reasons... And I was lamenting that as well as trying to make sure that I used this opportunity to teach my sons about Christ.

Then this hits me during a church service one December Sunday.

It's NOT about TRADITION

It's about CELEBRATION

Whatever I can't get done or I can get done, 

the focus should be CELEBRATING CHRIST'S BIRTH.

A lot tries to steal my focus this time of year- 

so I'm focusing on HIS BIRTHDAY 

and LOOKING for the STAR that was over the manger when He was born...

the STAR that will lead me to the PRINCE OF PEACE.... 

Luke 2: 7-14

Matthew 2:9

may His LOVE and LIGHT envelope you-

drive out the darkness attacking you-

remind you why HE came as a CHILD