Sunday, April 24, 2011

after Easter

Today was such a great day... I had the privilege and honor of helping lead worship at Christ Community Church... I was up at 4:30 to get ready and we were at the church at 6:45 to prepare for the 3 services!  It was so wonderful to be apart of our first Easter Sunday at the Milgen Road location.  It was amazing to see three separate groups of people come into the same space and worship God... I mean, really worship God.  It was such a privilege truly to see such an intimate and yet public moment in people's lives.  So the whole point of this blog is just to give thanks to God for what He did on the Cross and for allowing me to be a part of worship like this morning.  There were also moments where the lights would turn to a warm glow and I could just see in my mind's eye, God smiling down on us... I couldn't help but take those moments and bottle them up to pull out later when I am in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. 

"O death, where is your sting!  O hell, where is your victory?"  I had to keep myself from laughing right out loud as we sang those verses over and over again! 

Regardless of the misconceptions others may have of me, I don't have to explain myself to Him... I never had to second guess myself with Him... He knows the numbers of the hairs on my head... He knows my thoughts before they form in my brain... He knows my pain and I don't have to explain it to Him... Hallelujah!  Christ is Risen!  God loves me despite myself!  What a revelation!  What knowledge! 


Christ is Risen (Matt Maher) 
Let no one caught in sin remain
Inside the lie of inward shame
But fix our eyes upon the cross
And run to Him who showed great love
And bled for us
Freely You've bled for us

Chorus
Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave
Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Verse 2 
Beneath the weight of all our sin
You bowed to none but heaven's will
No scheme of hell no scoffer's crown
No burden great can hold You down
In strength  You   reign
Forever let Your church pro - claim

Bridge
O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
The glory of God has defeated the night
O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead
He's alive! He's alive!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Easter

Last year, Easter dissolved like the pink sugar peeps in Hero's two-year-old mouth.  But this year, he is talking about Easter eggs, chocolate bunnies and even the bunny that poops jelly beans on t.v.

So tonight, as he was attempting to prolong sleep any longer, I started singing an old worship chorus that was simply: "Jesus."

He jumped in: "Jesus had blood on His hands, Mommy."

They must be talking about the Crucifixion at preschool or children's church? Or was he mixing universes again- this time Christianity with Star Wars?

So I attempted to explain: "yes, He did... He was hurt, but now He isn't.  His blood covers our sins and we are made whole again.  But Jesus came back to life!  And He isn't hurt anymore!"  I had to fight back tears...

Lately, I've been feeling quite vulnerable in my walk with Jesus... worried about what others have been thinking about my walk with the Lord (because I've been quite a mess lately)... nervous that people would interpret things that I am helping with in ministry as a neon sign that I think I've finally got it all together.  [which, FYI, I do not think that at all]

But two things occurred to me:
1.  Yes, I really do believe that Jesus died on a cross for our sins and was raised from the dead... I don't need Lee Strobel to prove it to me.  I believe it, deep in my bones believe it to be true, however crazy it seems...
2.  Regardless of my shortcomings, the Gospel doesn't change...Because of Jesus' actions on the Cross, we can have a relationship with God and have peace and love here on this Earth.   My momma told me, "Stop trying to save the world, Buffy!  That's Jesus' job!"

And what a wonderful job He did on the Cross!  What a wonderful job He does!  I am excited to celebrate Easter this Sunday with my son as he learns about the Resurrection of Jesus Christ!

*You Are Mine*


Max Lucado wrote a book called “God thinks you are wonderful.”  It’s hard for me to wrap my head around that…. always has been… In “God think you are wonderful,” Lucado writes, “If God has a refrigerator; your picture would be on it.” 

When my son, Hero, was about 3 weeks old, I watched him sleep one afternoon.  He started to fuss a little, but settled down again into sleep.  And his mouth settled into that cute little fish-mouth.  I prayed, “God, I love this kid.”  Then the thought occurred to me… this must be what God feels for us.  This kid hasn’t done anything to make me proud of him… he hasn’t done anything for me… in fact, he's cost me quite a bit of physical pain and some money too.

But I love him just because he is mine… 

and that is how God feels about us… He loves us just because we belong to Him.  We don’t have to do anything magical or awesome… He loves us anyway.

In a world where you have to perform to prove your worth, it is nice to know that there is Someone who loves me just like I am… Someone who loves me anyway… I’ve always worked to get people’s approval.  I always felt that I had to do something to show that I was worth having around.  It wasn’t until I had Hero that the concept of grace clicked for me in such a real way.  I hope it doesn’t take you that long to experience God’s acceptance of you.  Jesus’ death on the cross bridged the gap… And God sent Him to that task because we are His.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

is this what I sound like?

I am realizing so much about my relationship with God through my relationship with my son.

Now, my disclaimer is that I do very much realize how privileged I am to have a son.  I love my son with every fiber of my being.  I am so psycho about my son... like The-Bride-from-Kill-Bill psycho about my son.  So please don't bring that into question as I am exploring this epiphany I just had.

My son has been really sick over this weekend... Not to the point where I was ever really worried, but certainly to the point where I am (present tense) exhausted emotionally, physically and mentally.  He was vomiting and ran a fever and it was just gross in a hundred different ways.

But a new day has dawned and, boy howdy, does he feel better!  He is running all over this house like a mad man.  But he is mostly just whining... and whining... and whining some more... and demanding... demanding... demanding...

I had to run to Target and we went through the toy section because I thought I'd get him a prize for being such a trooper... well, he whined and complained to the point that we walked away with no new toy.  But tonight so whiny and so complainy... Like the dripping of a faucet sink...

I wonder if this is how we sound to God... does He ever get exasperated with us and outdone with our constant complaining and constant whining?

But the thing of it is: no matter how much Hero complains and whines, I am not going to go away... I am still going to be here- filling up his sippy cup and making grilled cheese sandwiches.  Washing his bear and blanket for the 50th time because he puked all over them -- again.  Holding him tight until the fever leaves him.  Holding him while he heaves over the toilet.

And so it is with God.... He is not going away.  He promised to supply all of our needs.  He holds us tight until the pain goes away.

He is.... always... constant... loving... regardless...

Monday, April 11, 2011

what if God's forgotten?

I've suffered more than some; I've probably suffered less than most.  The things I've suffered with are cake walks for some... for others, they would be destroyed under the strain of my experiences..

I have come to a point in my life where it seems like the events of my life are moving in a positive direction... despite what befalls me, I am able to face it head-on and I force myself to find the positive in the situation: when there's a flat tire on my car, I thank God that He saved me from a wreck on the highway... when the air conditioner quits, I thank God that He will provide the money to fix it... when my son colors on the wall for the 15th time, I thank God that I have a son...  at this point, when catastrophe hits, I say, "Thank You, God!  Here is a great chance for You to perform a miracle!" 

But I wasn't always at this point... I used to melt down into a 2-year-old-fit at the slightest inconvenience...  that's another blog for another day... 

I met with a dear friend recently and she shared with me some of her struggles.  She reminded me how in the midst of those struggles how it's easy to wonder if God's forgotten you.  I totally get that.... I've been there many times... I thought I would post scriptures to support the fact that God hasn't forgotten, but I figured you might find out more on your own if you found them for yourself....

Rest assured in this:  God never promised us an easy ride... there is not one scripture that says that being a Christian is going to be rainbows and unicorns and bubbles...

But He promised He would be with us along the way....

   



 

    Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
Helen Keller; US blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)

Monday, April 4, 2011

suffering

So many can say it much better than me....

Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers.
Leigh Hunt
English author & editor (1784 - 1859)


The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.
Thomas Merton
US religious author, clergyman, & Trappist monk (1915 - 1968)


Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
Helen Keller
US blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)